About Me

My Photo
United Kingdom
Tyson is an underpaid writer, beer anarchist and cheese addict living in the North West of England.
If the people are buying tears, I'll be rich someday, Ma

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Physician heal thyself

Barely a day goes past these days without the media bombarding us with scare stories of binge drinking, out-of-control, revellers dragging the country down into Hades. Recently Alistair Campbell waded into the debate with his own sob story designed to scare the middle classes off their Pinot Grigio. Of course, we all know there’s very little substance to these claims, but it’s useful propaganda for a government hell bent on further prohibitionist measures.

But it appears there may be a problem after all. Well in certain quarters, anyway. MPs have always enjoyed 24hr cheap booze in the parliament bars and it was with some reluctance that they allowed the plebs the benefits of deregulated licensing. After all, who are we to be entrusted with such dangers? So it’s with no little irony I read about Eric Joyce and his antics in the Strangers Bar of the House of Commons.

Mr Joyce, Labour MP for Falkirk, was apprehended by the police on suspicion of assault after an incident in the bar at around 11pm last night. The fracas started after Joyce apparently complained that the bar was “full of Tories”. This allegedly led to him pushing one Tory MP and throwing punches at others. Drinks were then thrown and it’s also alleged that he planted a Glaswegian kiss on Stuart Andrew, MP for Pudsey.

Now this sort of behaviour is intolerable and indicative of the worst excesses of binge drinking. Knowing how keen the government is on stamping out this sort of thing, I have emailed my MP with my suggestions. Basically I have suggested restricted opening hours-say l2-3 and 6-10.30 and minimum pricing. To be effective, this needs to be means tested. So I suggest a £100 a pint/shot minimum, rising to £10,000 a pop for the mega-loaded like George Osborne.

I haven’t heard anything back yet, but I am sure MPs will want to lead by example. Wont they?

2 comments:

Ron Pattinson said...

Spot on.

BetterRed said...

Isn't being stuck in a room with a load of Tories what you call mitigation?