About Me

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Manchester, United Kingdom
Tyson is a beer hound and cheese addict living in the beery metropolis paradise known as Manchester
If the people are buying tears, I'll be rich someday, Ma

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

I Lost My Husband To Ale

That headline grabbed me today. It was in an article on infidelity in Woman magazine. At last I thought. Some brave soul has finally come forward and revealed the torment and heartache that a love affair with real ale can bring. Making up excuses to try and cover that illicit rendezvous. Pretending you’re late at work when you’re really spending time with Golden Pippin in the Dog & Duck. Telling the wife you spent the night with a hooker, when in reality you’ve been gently caressing a pint of Adnams. We’ve all been there.

Sadly, closer inspection revealed a clever typographer at work. They’d coloured in the X at the end, so it actually read “I lost my husband to Alex.” Alex apparently being some loser on the X-Factor. Well they’re all losers appearing on that show, obviously, but you get the idea. The Jeremy Kyle showdown between Camra and spurned spouses is on hold. But it’s only a matter of time...

2 comments:

Tandleman said...

I could of course ask why you are reading Woman, but I know you like to brush up on your feminine side now and again.

Tyson said...

"I could of course ask why you are reading Woman"

The simple answer is know thy enemy. I refer you to the classic text, The Art of War, by Sun Tzu
“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not your enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”