Don't Call Us
Former glamour totty, Linda Lusardi, is in the news again. Yesterday she got a roasting for dialling 999 unnecessarily-she was running late for her panto and wanted permission to use the hard shoulder. Today, far from being repentant, she claimed she was right, as she was brought up to believe you “phoned the police if you needed help.” Let’s be fair here-she did ask permission and she’s still got great cheekbones. Still, this is clearly not an emergency and does not warrant ringing 999. Look at me, when faced with a true emergency-the Towler running out of Golden Pippin, I’ve shown remarkable restraint in not calling for assistance. And so should Linda. After all, everyone knows that 999 is only for when you catch the landlord pouring the dregs back into the Mild.