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Manchester, United Kingdom
Tyson is a beer hound and cheese addict living in the beery metropolis paradise known as Manchester
If the people are buying tears, I'll be rich someday, Ma

Saturday, 31 January 2009

Sail Away

In a further attack on the sacred role that alcohol plays in the development of children, we now face it being removed from our nursery rhymes. Bookstart, a government funded charity, have rewritten the words to “What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor.”

This classic sea shanty has had all references to drunken sailors removed and replaced with “Grumpy Pirates.” No longer shall we “Throw him in the brig”, but rather “Tickle him till he starts to giggle.” Bookstart have denied this is political-correct meddling, but rather a case of finding a tune to fit a theme. But then why not write your own? Do not bastardise an existing classic. It’s bad enough that we’ve already lost verses such as “Stick him in a bag and beat him senseless” and the picturesque “Shave him with a rusty razor”, but this is the last straw.

And, if you want a pirate theme, what’s wrong with a drunken one?

2 comments:

Woolpack Dave said...

I think the original is a good lesson on why not to get drunk: Although prepubescent children may not full appreciate the significance of a rusty razor.

the southport drinker said...

I was love hearing that song - especially the line "shave his BELLY with a rusty razor". But o wonder was of ever sung at school? Certianly the nuns who taught me never sang it at choir class, although they did like the gypsy rover