Big celebrity news of the week is that Bertie Bassett has got a girlfriend. The popular mascot of Liquorice Allsorts has been single for 80 years, but the times they are-a-changing. Cadburys’ have announced that Bertie is to be joined by girlfriend, Bettie Bassett. Now, I’m happy for Bertie, but I am slightly confused. If they’re not married, why is she called Bettie Bassett? Are they cohabiting and she has taken his name? Surely they’re not kissing cousins? Before the News of The World gets involved, I think we should be told.
Update: Bertie has married Bettie in a hurriedly arranged ceremony in Sheffield. Cadburys claim that the press release was a mistake and that Bettie has only just become a Bassett. Meanwhile the internet is full of speculation that the marriage is just a sham. Will Bettie ever get her hands on Bertie's allsorts?