I’m sick of those CAMRA types telling me all about pubs and beer. It’s a good job we’re not all slaves to the machine. Thank God I’m here to put things right. Particularly as it’s been infiltrated by Trotskyite tendencies in the shape of Australian Tim.
Now officially a CAMRA weirdo and certified pub snob, Tim, is having a go at Wetherspoons. Now if he just said he doesn’t like them, ok, but no, that would be too simple. He’s on a mission and is outraged that his beloved CAMRA is in cahoots with the Antichrist. But will any of his accusations survive the scrutiny of the Spanish Inquisition?
JDW are Lucifer personified because:
The drinking barn/warehouse like atmosphere.
Pub snobbery at its worst. Working class boozers aren’t good enough for the likes of CAMRA, eh. A lot of them aren’t the prettiest, but they tend to be in town centres where space is a premium. No more guilty of this charge than the likes of Yates etc. And some of them are quite ornate.
The fact the toilets smell better than the pub interior.
Pure nonsense. JDW have won many awards for their loos and are by far the best of the bunch in that regard. They’re one of the few that I’ve found that do regularly have toilet roll available. Individual exceptions may exist, but there was a landlord in Radcliffe who used to boast that he hadn’t cleaned the toilets in 5 years.
The impersonal nature of the venues.
Bit vague this but basically more pub snobbery. Again no worse than many other operators. Do we want one size fits all pubs? You can always vote with your feet.
The business model which relies on low cost/high turnover of sales.
Like the supermarkets. Or the market stalls I used to work on. A standard free trade business model that is replicated the world over. And the problem is?
Hypocrisy in promoting responsible drinking, but selling cheap booze in high qualities.
Being successful is hypocrisy now? I don’t see Tim Martin setting himself up as some moral guardian. If you mean serving people who are drunk that would be refused elsewhere, say so. Or is it about underage drinking? Let’s see the proof. Mere speculation.
Antisocial behaviour of some customers.
Is this based solely on London again? Because outside of there, I haven’t heard that there’s a particularly problem with them. Again there are far worse venues. Mere generalisation.
Low quality food.
More snobbery. Cheap yes. Not Cordon bleu perhaps. But low quality? No worse, and far better, than a lot of places. British beef, the first chain to use only free trade eggs, sustainable fish-doesn’t sound too bad to me.
Freezing temperature of cask ales (some venues)
Guilty on this one...but hardly the worst of crimes. Far worse is all the pubs serving too warm beer-particularly in London.
Being alcoholic friendly (well they are in London anyway)
London again, sigh. And is this a serious criticism? Hardly a damming indictment and shades of even more snobbery.
So all in all, it turns out Wetherspoons is doing a pretty damn good job. Tim wants us to email Tony Jerome and I agree. Email him and tell him how great Spoons are!
It’s easy to pick out Wetherspoons-they’re clearly branded and an easy target. And yet they’re only tiddlers compared to the likes of Punch and Enterprise. I don’t hear any criticism of them. Hmmm. It’s also interesting to note that nearly all JDWs sell real ale. And their customers drink a lot of it. This is something that CAMRA member Tim doesn’t appear to like. Mind you, he's not that interested in real ale, full stop.