Don't Mention The War

Watch out, the Germans are coming. Having failed with Operation Sealion, they have come up with a cunning alternate plan to conquer this sceptred isle. And it all revolves around the mighty Jaffa Cake. For German company Bahlsen are hoping to sink their British opponents, McVities, with an oblong Jaffa Cake. Yes, oblong. Does their fiendishness know no bounds?

Apparently, some 75% of Brits prefer their snacks to be four-sided. And Bahlsen are hoping to capitalise on that fact. Throwing the gauntlet down, they claimed that the new snack was easier to pack and that the orange filling would be evenly spread out. This would mean the end for the “orange blob” at the centre and reduce dryness at the edges, thereby increasing flavour.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the foreign pretender has lain claim to culturally superiority. Their spokesman said: “So many wonders of the world are already oblong from Stonehenge to David Coulthard's chin.” Outrageous. We may be in the EU together but we don’t have to take this lying down. The round Jaffa Cake is a symbol of all what is great about Britain. It cannot and will not be allowed to surrender without a fight.


Tandleman said…
What next? The oblong plain chocolate digestive? That'd mean war!
Captain Jack said…
It's the thin edge of the custard cream.
Penny said…
A major attack on civilisation...
Paul Garrard said…
I suspect Bahlsen will no doubt employ another cunning plan and cover them in proper chocolate. What ever next?

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