About Me

My photo
Manchester, United Kingdom
Tyson is a beer hound and cheese addict living in the beery metropolis paradise known as Manchester
If the people are buying tears, I'll be rich someday, Ma

Tuesday, 8 September 2009

Life After City Lights

So farewell then, Keith Waterhouse. One of the true greats. Wordsmith and drinker par excellence. Not forgetting his contribution to one of TV’s finest shows-Worzel Gummidge. The thing about Waterhouse was his sheer consistency. Most artists will sooner or later see the quality of their output diminish or at least fluctuate. Not Waterhouse. From Billy Liar to Jeffrey Bernard is Unwell, and beyond, his work never dipped. Truly remarkable.

A man after my own heart, he valued lunch so much he wrote a book about it and listed it as his hobby in Who’s Who. He considered it quite obscene to be sober in the afternoon. In later years he would pop over the road to O’Neill’s for a liquid lunch of eight glasses of Pinot Grigio. Always glasses, never bottles, as he hated the commitment that went with ordering a bottle. Quite right.

One of my favourite stories about him concerns an assistant (who later sued for unfair dismissal) and his lunchtime demands. She claimed that he expected her to deliver champagne and smoked salmon at 1pm, dressed in a black basque and stockings. Class. Only Tandleman can get away with that sort of thing nowadays.

4 comments:

Tandleman said...

Not today he won't. He's just had a tooth out and been warned off alcohol for a few days. Bloody marvellous. Just when you actually need a drink, you are told you can't have one.

Tyson said...

If memory serves me correctly, tooth trouble has come between you and alcohol before. Time for dentures?

Tandleman said...

Same tooth that time too, but the fecker is no more, so that can't happen again!

Anyway, the bleeding stopped an hour or two after it was extracted, so I'll give it a miss today only.

TIW said...

In latter days, KW's mates used to carry him to his bedroom and leave him on the floor after "lunch". It was safer than him rolling out of bed and breaking an arm (as happened earlier this year).