This Is The Modern World

Now I’m all for modernity, but some things are just wrong. And urinals with swirling, changing, colours are one of them. I’ve tried, but I’m not warming to them. The scene of this affront to human decency? Barca, a trendy bar in the Castlefield basin of Manchester. Famously once owned by Mick Hucknall, it has recently returned to the cask beer fold and so is now back on the real ale map of Manchester.

Together with the nearby Dukes 92 (3 casks on), it offers a rare opportunity to sup a pint in or out (luckily it never rains in Mncr) surrounded by young, posh, totty. What more could a man ask for? Or, indeed, let’s not be sexist, any self respecting lipstick lesbian.

Now obviously this pleasure doesn’t come without a price. You can expect to pay around £3 or more for your indulgence. And for those prices, you don’t expect to be overwhelmed by some LSD 60s’ vision. Not when you’re having a pee, anyway.

Picture the scene-you’ve had a few beers, you enter (a very clean, nicely tiled) dimly lit toilet. You’re in position and let rip. Next thing you know, your senses are being assaulted by flashing blue, red and er, green, lights. It can be quite disconcerting. Indeed, the WHB was so put out of sorts; he may never be able to go to the toilet ever again.

Modern life: it ain’t always easy.


Cooking Lager said…
What's it like to have a dump in there?
Darren T said…
Good lord. Cask Ale? In Barca? Really? Might have to head on down there and check them out. The ales, I mean. Not the totty, obviously. Wasn't thinking about the totty at all. (Mmmmm, tot... er, I mean Aaaaale)

Mind you it's still going to be bloody difficult to bypass either the Ox or Knott Bar on the way in, whichever direction I approach from. Will give it a go, hope for the best.
Paul Garrard said…
In my opinion the urinal is essentially flawed. Tarting them up with coloured lights etc still doesn’t change the fact that you get wet trousers!
RedNev said…
"Luckily it never rains in Mncr."

I must have transferred to a parallel universe.
Tyson said…

I've never had the need, to but the traps are clean and without distracting lights. As are the Ladies, I'm reliably informed.
Barry M said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Barry M said…
There was a bar in Dublin (think it was The Chocolate Bar, Hatch Street) that had, as a urinal, a wall of rocks with a waterfall streaming down it, also with "cool" lighting effects. The wall was about a metre away, so it felt like pissing into a stream, but also a bit exposed, and it was only wide enough to take guys peeing at the same time. Maybe four if you were on very friendly terms. The worst thing was the cubicles (two of them) were each side of the wall, so there was a bridge over the "stream" to get to and from them. Felt a bit odd taking a leak to have someone open a door practically opposite you.

Gimme the flashing, seizure-inducing lights over an artificial waterfall and stream of piss any day! :D

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