“Minister Slams Stella”. When I first read this headline I thought, “Oh no, what has Stella McCartney done now?” But it turns out this is actually about everyone’s favourite lout of choice-Stella Artois. And Carlsberg and Becks. Health Secretary Andy Burnham has singled out brewers Inbev and Carlsberg for criticism after their failure to adhere to the government’s voluntary code.
This voluntary code requires brewers to label their products with how many alcohol units they contain. Now as we all know, the typical Stella imbiber merely wants to get pissed as cheaply and quickly as possible before giving their wife a good beating. Or indeed, in these days of equality, their husband/partner. They are not interested in how many units they are consuming in doing so. And neither am I. So I salute the makers of lout and their two-fingered salute to Mr Burnham.
Did you spot the key word in the above? Yes, that’s right children, voluntary. Mr Burnham should get off his high horse and get over his “deep disappointment” with brewers. I suggest he looks up “voluntary” in the dictionary.