It’s nice to be invited to places but I think I won’t be accepting the invitation that has just arrived in my inbox. Some PR outfit, acting on behalf of AB Inbev, want me to help celebrate production of their client’s 20 billionth pint. The invited throng would first have to endure a tour of their Samlesbury brewery-a place which the very mention of sends shivers down real ale and craft brewing aficionados alike. Then, and I like this bit, a Stella Artois ‘expert’ will talk about matching the beer with food: very craft beer like, before the grand finale of a competition to judge the perfect pour of Stella. Fun for all the family, I grant you, but sadly I am busy watching paint dry that day, so will have to politely decline.